HOW DeBULLY STARTED

Bill and Rachelle Fletcher along with their two daughters helped create the DeBully Program as a response to their children’s first-hand experience with bullying. For over a decade, their children were victims of bullying and couldn’t find a solution that worked. Their desire is to inspire you with the messages that helped their kids as well as provide resources for parents and teachers to counteract bullying and change culture.

 

AFFECTS OF BULLYING

  • Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University
  • A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying
  • 10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying
  • A very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied

WHAT IS BULLYING?

Bullying is an intentional behavior or a repeated harassment by one person or a group that harms another person either emotionally or physically usually targeting someone they see as weaker. Those bullying often have more social or physical “power”, while those targeted have difficulty stopping the behavior. Even though the behavior is typically repeated, it can be a one-time incident and is still extremely harmful and abusive. Students often describe bullying as someone who makes them feel less than they are as a person. Bullying is persistently abusing others that creates an intimidating environment. Bullying does not stop without intervention.

  • School bullying is commonly committed by (1) stronger students or peers targeting weaker students, and occasionally coaches, and teachers targeting certain vulnerable students.
  • Cyberbullying is most frequently committed by young persons who use electronic media-such as e-mail, text messages, and social media to intentionally target others.

WHAT IS NOT CONSIDERED BULLYING?

HEALTHY
CONFLICTS:

  • Involve equal power between people
  • Occur occasionally
  • Often unintentional
  • Not power-seeking
  • Usually resort in remorse
  • End with a desire to solve the problem
  • Never intended to cause harm

BULLYING
CONFLICTS:

  • Involve unequal power between the bully and the bullied
  • Occur repeatedly
  • Always intentional
  • Never result in remorse
  • End with no desire to solve the problem
  • Always intended to cause harm

WHAT IS THE PROGRESSION ON BULLYING?

Bullying involves a process of depersonalization enabling both the bullies and bystanders to commit more and more severe acts against those being targeting for bullying.

THE SEQUENCE

  • The Bully evaluates the environment, locates a target, then checks out the crowd of bystanders.
  • The Bully makes degrading remarks to the target, then waits for a response from the target and bystanders.
  • The target either responds with strength (disapproval) or with weakness (uneasiness).

THE BULLY CAN RESPOND IN DIFFERENT WAYS

  • Leader bullies begin the bullying and then try to coax followers to join them.
  • Follower bullies don’t start the bullying but enjoy taking an active role.
  • Passive bullies or supporters openly endorse the bullying by laughing or pointing out the target being bullied but don’t take such an active role in the actual bullying.

THE BYSTANDERS CAN ALSO RESPOND DIFFERENTLY

  • Apathetic bystanders don’t like the bullying, but neither do they take a stand against it. They believe it’s none of their business.
  • Passive bystanders don’t like the bullying, don’t do anything to stop it and some will later take part in it.
  • Protective bystanders or defenders don’t like the bullying and will take a stand to stop it.

WHAT IS BULLYCIDE?

“Bullycide” is a term used to describe the tragic suicides of those who have been bullied. Sadly, by the time these victims reach this point they:

  • Become emotionally distraught, depressed, and despondent over the verbal, emotional, and physical attack of their bullies
  • Lose hope and are unable to make sound life-preserving decisions
  • See no other way to stop the attacks except to take their own lives
  • Want the pain to end so they end it by ending their own lives

EFFECTS OF BULLYING?

  • Victims of bullying are between 2 and 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University.
  • A very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures.
  • In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied.

A study in Britain found that:

  • At least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying.
  • 10 to 14-year-old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide.

According to statistics reported by ABC News:

  • A Nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying.
  • Protective bystanders or defenders don’t like the bullying and will take a stand to stop it.

WHAT IS THE ROOT CAUSE OF BULLYING?

Both the bully and the bullied believe lies that keep them trapped in a cycle of harmful behaviors. However, replacing the lies with the truth will lead to changed hearts and changed lives.

WRONG BELIEF FOR THE BULLY

“If I push people around they will respect me. When I put others down I feel important and significant.”

WRONG BELIEF FOR THE BULLIED

“I must deserve to be treated like this because I am unloveable and insignificant.”

WRONG BELIEF FOR THE BYSTANDER

“This is not my fight, it’s none of my business.” (Apathetic bystander)

“If I try to stop this, I could also become a target.” (Passive bystander)

RIGHT BELIEF FOR THE BULLY

“I must treat other with respect in order to receive respect. I don’t need to push others down to feel powerful.”

RIGHT BELIEF FOR THE BULLIED

“I can withstand the taunts of the bullies in my life because I am secure in who I am.”

RIGHT BELIEF FOR THE BYSTANDER

“I can’t just stand here and do nothing. I must try to stop it.” (Protective bystander.)

HOW CAN SCHOOL’S HELP STOP BULLYING?

  • Rules: Students must know that teachers are in charge and that hurting other students will not be tolerated. Set and enforce rules regarding bullying
  • Rights: Every student has the right to not be hurt and to learn in a safe environment.
  • Responsibility: All adults at schools- including administrators, teachers, aides, and cafeteria staff must be responsible for supervision. One of the best ways to stop bullying is to take away the audience. The most effective deterrent to bullying is when students are taught to be courageous enough to report is and not take part when they see it happen.

*These are not legal definitions of bullying. For more information on bullying, go to Stopbullying.gov

DEBULLY REVIEWS

The Debully team is always great at our junior high. Kids this age respond best to their own music and look at the Debully team to bring that style in a high energy rock concert style assembly punctuated by personal stories from their own lives. They challenge and motivate students to work a little harder to lift the culture of the school to be kinder and more inclusive. I’m looking forward for years to come of the Debully team bringing their message to our school!”

- Carla Kerske, Azle Junior High